God
Never Gives Up on Us (6/10/00)
Dear brothers and sisters,
I just like to share with you my encounters
with God today. Normally, I wouldn't want to give testimony to such encounters,
but today was an extremely moving one that I had to share with you all,
especially those who are feeling lost in their prayer lives or unworthy
of God's love.
A little background knowledge on my
own prayer life. I'm not constant in my prayers, and I'm very easily distracted
by worldly things that GRAB my attention. Whenever I feel drawn to these
more 'attractive' things, I put God aside and pursue them. That's how
I've been struggling with drawing strength from God. I've been putting
more faith and trust in all the tangibles of this world. I've focused
on what I can do for God, and what MY problems are. In short, it's been
a very self-centred relationship. I prayed as and when I FELT like it
(which I still do) and whenever I sin, I fall into my pit of self-pity
and wallow in it until God comes and picks me up. (But this only happens
when I am ready to get out of my pit, which could take days.) I've been
feeling so unworthy of God's love, so much so that I sometimes consider
ending it all. Now, I see that it is the Evil one's way of distracting
me from the warmth and loving presence of God. But this doesn't mean I
won't fall again. It's a constant struggle all of us have to face, our
inner demons, our bronze serpents. (Numbers 20:4-9)
For those out there who are feeling like they don't deserve God because
of sin, or because I don't have a constant prayer life or whatever other
reasons, don't give up hope. Our God is a faithful God who is true to
His promises. Today on the way home on the MRT, I lifted up the journey
to God and He chose it to meet me 'half-way'. My eyes were opened on my
own life and all the sins that I've committed. All those times I felt
that because I didn't want to give him 15 minutes a day to pray didn't
matter. He wants me to try again. To start from SOMEWHERE and then develop
this relationship. And all my expectations have to be lowered, because
I tend to demand too much from myself than I can handle. (which leads
to many many disappointments)
I couldn't stop praising God for just being where I was and for making
those minutes so beautiful and precious. I praised God for my weaknesses,
which I wouldn't normally do. For it is when I am weak, that I need Christ
and that Christ will make me strong. As St. Paul wrote, 'Jesus said "
My grace is enough for you; my power is at its best in weakness."
So shall I be very happy to make my weakness my special boast so that
the power of Christ may stay over me, and that is why I am quite content
with my weaknesses, and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and the
agonies I go through for Christ's sake. For it is when I am weak that
I am strong."(2 Cor 12:9-10) This has given me the courage to stare
at my darkness and to praise God for it and for making me a stronger and
better person through all these dark experiences, for it is at these times
that I need God the most.
I pray that all of you will constantly not give up in your prayer lives,
for this is where you draw your strength from the giver of JOY, HOPE,
PEACE, LIFE amongst so many other things. I pray you keep Jesus close
to your heart and not give in to the Evil's ones promptings. God loves
us all and you are never alone on your journey and in carrying your individual
crosses. I'm a sinner myself, but God has taken me from the miry clay
and loved me with an everlasting and pure love. And He loves all of you
in the same way.
Thank you Lord for the gift of my brothers and sisters who have prayed
for me and who have loved me all through my days in NUS. Thank you for
helping me grow stronger through your people and for picking me up whenever
I stumbled.
God bless each and everyone of you and may the Spirit continually empower
you and enlighten your hearts, minds and souls.
The last part of this testimony was taken from a newsletter (Worship music)
and I thought I'd share it will you all....
Choosing to worship "in spite of the circumstances" does not
mean just going through the motions of worship. Worship must involve the
heart. But how can you remove the hindrances to having a worshiper's heart?
Here's what I do when I'm faced with this situation. First I pray, confessing
to God the specific sins that are hindering my worship. But I don't dwell
on my inadequacies because Satan sometimes uses my sins and weaknesses
to draw attention to myself and away from God. Worship is not about me
and my sinfulness . . . it's about a holy and forgiving God.
It helps me to picture putting those things in a box, along with any other
distractions, and taking the box outside the door. The things in the box
may need to be dealt with, but for now I am going to set them aside and
turn all my attention to God.
Then I simply tell God that my desire is to worship him and I ask him
to honour this desire. He has never turned down my request!
With all my love I will answer you .
. .
I will worship
I will bow down
Before my Lord and King.
I will love you
I will give you my heart
My everything.
The Worship Thought for Today was written
and Copyright 1997 by Lori Lindsey. Used with permission.
Have a Spirit-filled day and a restful
weekend!!
Hugs and love,
Your brother in Christ,
Adrian Teo
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